TELL THEM ‘FISH IS BRAIN FOOD’

Here’s another one for the child who wants to be clever. Omega-3 rich fish supplies a good dose of DHA (docosahexaenoic acid), which is essential for proper brain and eye development in children. In an American study published in the journal Pediatrics, children with difficulties in learning, behaviour and psychosocial adjustment were given an essential fatty acid supplement containing 80 per cent fish oil and 20 per cent evening primrose oil (supplying 558mg of EPA and 174mg of DHA). The placebo group were given olive oil. After three months, the olive oil group fell further behind with their spelling and they had an average progression in reading. However, the children who consumed the omega-3 blend had significantly improved with both reading and spelling and they were better behaved.

Results are less dramatic with children who have no learning or behavioural problems but fish is still brain food as all children need to consume essential fatty acids for optimal brain function. But don’t tell your child that...

* Tell them ‘Fish is brain food’.
* Say ‘Fish is brain food and can help you to be clever

at school work’.

However, if your child is a vegetarian or allergic to fish you can sell them on the benefits of omega-3 rich linseeds. (See Chapter 5 on page 88 for more information on linseeds.)

TELL THEM WHEN SOMETIMES IS

Just because you want your child to be healthy doesn’t mean you have to put a lifetime ban on all junk food and outside influences such as TV. However, it is a good idea to control or restrict when or how often they come into contact with them. This is when the word ‘sometimes’ needs to be used. As I mentioned in the last chapter, also let your child know when sometimes is so they don’t resent you for setting the rules to suit your whims.

For example, my daughter loves iceblocks and a couple of years ago she would demand one whenever we passed the local shop on the way to her school. After all, we were in the vicinity of her favourite icy treat and she thought it was a great opportunity to buy one. Every day I’d say ‘No, we’re going to school’. Every day there was a tantrum. Finally I said ‘Let’s set a new rule: what day should be iceblock day?’ Of course my daughter said today was iceblock day, which happened to be Friday, so iceblocks became a Friday after school treat.

Of course my daughter still nagged me to buy iceblocks for another week but I would always reply with the same slogan ‘Iceblock day is Friday’. Her complaining became less frequent and soon she had replaced ‘I want an iceblock!’ with ‘Is it Friday yet?’ or ‘How many days till Friday?’ Within a fortnight she knew when Friday was due to occur and she no longer needed to ask.

Occasionally she would try her luck and tell me her ideas for a new rule ‘Can we make iceblock day every day the sun shines?’ ‘No’, I’d reply, ‘Iceblock day is Friday’. She knows this is true as she has heard and experienced this slogan (aka rule) on a consistent basis so she doesn’t hassle me when I inevitably say no.

Here is an example of a suitable meal timetable:

TELL THEM ‘JUNK FOOD WON’T MAKE YOU STRONG’

If your child really wants that chocolate biscuit and you don’t mind giving it to them you can use this moment to market it in a negative manner. Fast food advertisers sometimes do this when they imply their competitor’s products are inferior. Just don’t expect your child to shun the sweet treats straight away. You are just planting the seed – junk food is inferior. This technique should be used in conjunction with positive marketing of nutritious food.

• You could say ‘You can have a biscuit, but keep in mind it won’t make you strong. If you want to be strong you can have some Power Fruit’.

Your child will probably still choose the biscuit (and this is okay) but a negative association has been planted. Your child will soon identify that although biscuits taste good, they are not a reward as they don’t offer anything of real value. Don’t say ‘It’s bad for you’ as kids sometimes like to be bad. And keep away from ‘It’ll make you fat!’ as you don’t want them to become obsessive about their weight or appearance.

Whenever serving any junk food or dessert use subtle negative marketing such as,

•  ‘You can have it but it won’t make you strong’.
  
• Or say ‘You can have it but it may make it hard to concentrate and do clever things’.

PRAISE YOUR CHILD WHEN THEY EAT HEALTHY FOOD

Children thrive on genuine praise. If your child tries a new vegetable or eats a healthy meal, notice this and give a detailed appraisal. For example ‘I like how you listened to me and tried to eat some spinach. I’m proud of your efforts’. Research has show that when a parent praises a child’s efforts, rather than praising how ‘smart’ they are, a child is more likely to try harder in future. This is because ‘effort’ is something that a child can control (as opposed to winning and being the smartest in class) and children who are taught to value effort are less likely to fear failure.

It’s also wise to tell another person, such as your child’s other parent or a friend’s parent about your child’s good behaviour. Do this when your child is within earshot as the repetition of praise will make them feel good and it reinforces the good behaviour, making it more likely to occur again. Public praise is very powerful – use it often.

Be patient and persistent

A child may need to try a new food up to ten times before they begin to like the taste of it. So don’t give up (or give in) prematurely. Be subtly persistent and use praise and positive marketing each time you serve the particular food.

USE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY

Have you ever noticed when you tell a child they can’t have something (such as chocolate) they want it more. Some kids can even become obsessed with sweets if they have tasted how good they are and then are told they’re forbidden. It’s like saying no means this food or product has extra special powers and grown- ups want to keep it for themselves.

It’s like the Adam and Eve story when they were told they could have anything in the Garden of Eden, except the fruit from the apple tree. Eve believed the notion that apples contained special information that God wanted to keep for himself and she was tempted into trying one.

I occasionally use reverse psychology on my daughter to get her to ask for healthy food more often. She falls for it so quickly I almost feel bad about using this tactic. We could be at the supermarket and she asks for an apple (which she wants to eat immediately) and I’ll say ‘I’m not sure if you can have an apple. Only if you’re very good’. She will persist and I’ll say ‘Let me think about it. I’ll put the apple in the trolley but you can only have it if you help me find healthy food to put in the trolley. When we’ve finished shopping, I’ll decide if you can have it’. In essence, this phrasing is suggesting an apple is a special treat (like chocolate) and should be restricted in some way.

If your child does not immediately ask for a serve of veggies or wholegrains after using healthy marketing on them don’t panic. And don’t get overzealous and force healthy food into them on the spot. You will only look desperate and your child may view your efforts with suspicion. Give your marketing time to sink in. Just plant the seed each day – vegetables help you achieve your goals – and then keep vegetables and other healthy food prepared and within reaching distance for convenience.

While you are marketing nutritious food to your youngest children some of the information should sink in with your eldest child. So you will probably find he starts eating more vegetables during this time.

OVERWEIGHT CHILDREN AND MOTIVATION

If your child is overweight and they say they want to look better you can not only mention vegetables and wholegrains, you can also bring up exercise and drinking water. However, not wanting to be overweight doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll take up any healthy activities. Not wanting something is not much of a motivator. So it’s vital to link exercise and healthy eating habits with something they love.

For example, if they love computer games and want to spend most of their time playing them, then say ‘Exercise will help you concentrate better while playing games’. You can also incorporate ‘computer’ finger stretches into their exercise routine so they think they’re working towards better computing skills. I know this may sound ridiculous to you but you must think in terms of what your child desires most, not what you desire for your child.

I’ll use myself as a prime example: I have always hated exercise and I often joke that my body has a natural aversion to movement. For the last couple of years I’ve been experiencing pain in my hands from typing and hunching over my computer 

FAQ: ‘My child sulks a lot and insists he is not interested in anything other than watching TV. How can I link eating healthy food to a hobby if he seems to lack interest in all other activities?’

You need to use your power of perception to work out what they like and what they naturally excel at. Every child has something they love to do. And every child has a talent or emerging flair, even if it’s shopping, house cleaning, building with blocks or dressing dolls. Don’t disregard these talents! Your child could grow up to be a highly paid clothes designer, property developer, interior designer or personal shopper who gets flown to New York to buy clothes for others.

Don’t force your child to do something they obviously dislike but also don’t let your child give up too quickly on activities they seem mildly interested in. They may simply need a bit of time to master some basic skills. If your child complains about trying a new activity it’s important to insist your child sticks with it for at least a month (or a term if you paid for the whole term in advance).

When I was a child I was shy. This meant I would get embarrassed if I couldn’t do something straight away and I would give up quickly, even if I loved the activity. I did this with dancing and I still regret giving up dancing when I moved to a different state ... I was too shy to say yes to signing up to a new class. 

So don’t let shyness stop your child from participating, especially if they show signs of interest in an activity.

If your child is reluctant to try a new hobby or continues to insist they don’t like doing anything then they may have low self-esteem. When a child has little confidence in themselves and thinks they are of no value, they can become difficult to handle or apathetic about life. If you suspect this is the case, you can spend extra time playing with and listening to your child as this will help them feel more valuable. Give genuine praise when warranted and speak to a psychologist if your child doesn’t improve.